Trump offers choice to Americans with mental health issues

Trump offers choice to Americans with mental health issues
After praising Australia’s universal health care system during a press conference with Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull yesterday, President Trump turned his attention to the far superior pre-existing condition coverage offered under the AHCA.”We now have everything in place to give Americans with mental health more choice in how they are treated. By removing the egregious restriction on gun purchases, Americans are now able to treat themselves, rather than dipping into the enormous $8 million slush fund we’ve put aside for pre-existing condition coverage, which Betsy DeVos informs me will be more than enough.”Thanks to the Houston Chronicle for the cartoon.

Republicans prepare to remove the phrase, “Republicans have the votes” from common usage

Republicans prepare to remove the phrase, “Republicans have the votes” from common usage
Kevin McCarthy emerged from Speaker Paul Ryan’s office Wednesday night all but triumphant. “We will be voting on the health care votes tomorrow. Because we have enough votes. It’ll pass. It’s a good bill,” McCarthy, R-California, told a scrum of reporters gathered outside.In their desperate scramble to claim any kind of legislative victory, Republicans will this morning vote on a healthcare bill that has no CBO score, no bill-text and no analysis. With no understanding of what’s in the bill, how it will affect American voters, or what the fiscal impact will be, Republicans will blindly wave goodbye to their midterm hopes.In a move that will go nowhere in the Senate, they will left looking back on this day as one of the few where, “they had the votes”.

Trump, “If you like your pre-existing condition, you can keep it”

Trump, “If you like your pre-existing condition, you can keep it”
President Donald Trump says the Republican plan to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act “guarantees” coverage for Americans with pre-existing conditions. “Pre-existing conditions are in the bill. And I mandate it. I said, ‘Has to be,’” Trump told CBS’s John Dickerson on “Face the Nation” Sunday. Pressed further, Trump said that “we actually have a clause that guarantees” coverage for those with pre-existing conditions.Americans with pre-existing conditions rejoiced, safe in the knowledge that they could keep their pre-existing condition, in a week where they were already feeling good about the massive tax cuts coming their way, no more worries about a nuclear holocaust, and a glut new jobs in redundant industries across the nation.”

Trump fails to court the swing vote

Trump Swing
Following weeks of exhaustive practice, Donald Trump yesterday failed in his bid to win this year’s Trump National Best Swing contest. The annual contest between members at Trump’s course in Virginia is highly coveted, but for the second time in a week, Trump was unable to get the votes needed to seal the deal.A White House spokesman commented, “The President has put in countless hours to get the votes needed. He left everything out on the fairway. Weekends have been spent in working meetings with his swing coach, both here, and at his course at Mar-a-Lago. Unfortunately he continues to have problems pushing the ball out to the right, or hooking to the left. There is also a major problem with the consistency of his follow-through.”Trump refused to blame his swing coach for yesterday’s loss, instead targeting equipment manufacturer Titleist’s decision to manufacture their club heads in China. He vowed to bring those jobs back to the United States in order to “Make America Drive Straight Again”.