Trump finally acknowledges the local milk people

Trump finally acknowledges the local milk people
A newly published transcript of the phone call between the US president and the Australian prime minister shows the pair discussing a deal made under the Obama administration to resettle to the US more than 1,000 refugees currently held in Australia’s offshore detention centers.Trump was unhappy, “I hate taking these people. I guarantee you they are bad. That is why they are in prison right now. They are not going to be wonderful people who go on to work for the local milk people.”Those wonderful refugees who have successfully assimilated to become local milk people took to the streets to celebrate, after finally being acknowledged by the President.Stephen Miller was quick to clarify Trump’s comments though, adding, “While we do appreciate the hard working local milk people, there is no place in this country for chocolate milk.”

UK implements travel ban to keep out “dangerous people”. Trump visit canceled.

UK implements travel ban to keep out “dangerous people”. Trump visit canceled.
Following early morning discussions with London Mayor Sadiq Khan, Theresa May showed her support by imposing a TRAVEL BAN to keep out DANGEROUS PEOPLE.May revealed the name of the only person on the travel ban list, a move which resulted in Trump canceling his upcoming trip to the UK.Speaking on Britain’s Channel 4 News, Khan said, “I don’t think we should roll out the red carpet to the president of the USA in the circumstances where his policies go against everything we stand for.”

Trump announces foolproof two-tier extreme vetting standards

Trump announces foolproof two-tier extreme vetting standards
President Trump will today sign an executive order designed to keep America safe from foreign adversaries. The order calls for a two-tier extreme vetting system. Syrian refugees, especially those under the age of ten, will be subject to the most-extreme form of vetting, while future National Security Adviser appointees will require no vetting at all, the same level of vetting successfully applied to previous adviser Michael Flynn.Sean Spicer announced the news in today’s briefing, “This executive order is designed to ensure the safety of the American people. Any fallout from this new policy will be blamed on the Obama administration.”

Trump provides specifics on border wall payment plan

Trump provides specifics on border wall payment plan
Yesterday, President Trump sent out a carefully worded tweet, providing full details of how he intends to fund the Mexican border wall:“Eventually, but at a later date so we can get started early, Mexico will be paying, in some form, for the badly needed border wall.”Today we take a moment to get behind the specifics and examine each of the key elements:“Eventually” Under the next administration “but at a later date” well, some future administration, but in any case, after I’m welcomed into the loving arms of my beloved Vlad “so we can get started early”  wow, 100 days sure goes by fast and I really need to add something to my list of accomplishments “Mexico will be paying” there’s that campaign promise, boom! “in some form” no need to get specific, heck I’ll take a year’s supply of tacos “for the badly needed border wall” we’ve got to stop American citizens escaping over the southern border.