Reacting to James Comey’s prepared statement, French President Emmanuel Macron said he also recalled a meeting with President Trump where he was asked the exact same thing…”I hope you can let this go””I didn’t move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way during the awkward silence that followed. We simply looked at each other in silence until I finally decided the time had come to loosen my vice-like grip.”
White House staffers have been working tirelessly this week to ensure President Trump’s ability to live-tweet during James Comey’s Senate testimony tomorrow is unimpaired.Explaining his absence from Monday’s press briefing, Sean Spicer said, “Monday’s brainstorming session produced a solution which enables the President to stay hydrated while tweeting, and I think Mike’s prototype does just that. Today’s press briefing will be canceled as Sarah and I build the production version for tomorrow’s hearing.”
In a late change to the voice talent line-up for the highly anticipated summer release of Nut Job 2, Warner Bros. has dispensed with the originally slated talent, including Will Arnett and Katherine Heigl.A spokesman for Warner Bros. stated, “Nut Job was a huge hit in Russia, so we were looking to change some of the voice actors to appeal more broadly to our core audience. We’re delighted to announce that our casting agents have been able to capture members of the cast of this year’s surprise hit ‘FBI Russia investigation’”.The summer blockbuster is due to be released in August, approximately ten years prior to Jared Kushner’s anticipated release.
The RMS Trumptanic, whose maiden voyage has been troubled by choppy seas of late, yesterday struck a stack of James Comey’s memos and began taking on water. Onboard, House Speaker Ryan could be heard screaming, “…but her emails…”, as the crippled vessel, once thought unsinkable, began its descent into the icy waters of American history.When asked about the Comey’s memo, first mate Spicer’s final words were, “I think the memo speaks for itself.”