Immigration

Trump finally acknowledges the local milk people

Trump finally acknowledges the local milk people
A newly published transcript of the phone call between the US president and the Australian prime minister shows the pair discussing a deal made under the Obama administration to resettle to the US more than 1,000 refugees currently held in Australia’s offshore detention centers.Trump was unhappy, “I hate taking these people. I guarantee you they are bad. That is why they are in prison right now. They are not going to be wonderful people who go on to work for the local milk people.”Those wonderful refugees who have successfully assimilated to become local milk people took to the streets to celebrate, after finally being acknowledged by the President.Stephen Miller was quick to clarify Trump’s comments though, adding, “While we do appreciate the hard working local milk people, there is no place in this country for chocolate milk.”
Immigration

Trump furious after Ellis Island revelation

Ellis Island
President Trump was said to be furious after learning for the first time of an immigration influx on the doorstep of Trump Tower.Following a meeting with his Education Secretary, Trump was overheard saying, “Betsy informed me of an island that I can see from my office, where immigrants have been flooding into the country for years. Apparently 12 million have come in so far.”Trump expressed fury with intelligence agencies for focusing on the southern border, when, “the real problem is in my home state!”.Trump has ordered an immediate review of immigration policy and asked for cost estimates to build the ‘Ellis Island Wall’, adding “it’s going to be a beautiful wall”.
Immigration

Trump re-purposes VOICE office after push-back

Trump VOICE
President Trump today backed-away from plans to set-up, VOICE, the Victims Of Immigration Crime Engagement office. Facing increasing push-back from all sides, Trump has decided to re-purpose the snappy acronym, rather than completely do away with it.In an announcement due later today, Trump will announce the Victims Of Irritating Cabinet Ethics. “There’s a growing need to support victims of burdensome Cabinet Ethics”, said press Secretary Sean Spicer, “Michael Flynn will head-up the new office and we’re hopeful that Jeff Sessions will join him soon. We’re confident that we’ll be able to fully staff the office in the next few weeks.”