Immigration

Trump announces foolproof two-tier extreme vetting standards

Trump announces foolproof two-tier extreme vetting standards
President Trump will today sign an executive order designed to keep America safe from foreign adversaries. The order calls for a two-tier extreme vetting system. Syrian refugees, especially those under the age of ten, will be subject to the most-extreme form of vetting, while future National Security Adviser appointees will require no vetting at all, the same level of vetting successfully applied to previous adviser Michael Flynn.Sean Spicer announced the news in today’s briefing, “This executive order is designed to ensure the safety of the American people. Any fallout from this new policy will be blamed on the Obama administration.”
Surveillance

Trump now includes Obama in private phone conversations

Trump orders extra spicy
President Trump’s wire-tapping discovery has given him the opportunity to include the former President on all outgoing White House calls.
Surveillance

Trump displays Hulk-like fury, Obama “irked”

Obama Irked
Sources close to former President Obama said he was , “irked and exasperated”, upon learning of President Trump’s unfounded wire-tapping accusations. Obama’s cool, calm reaction to being called a “sick guy”, compares favorably to Trump’s reaction upon being told that Jeff Sessions stole his thunder last week.