Hearing that Hurricane Irma is the biggest storm ever recorded and is likely to cause massive destruction across the Caribbean and Florida, President Trump signed an emergency executive order this morning renaming the storm to Hurricane Donald.Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated that “The President felt much happier having his name attached to something capable of causing devastation to the lives of millions”
President Trump welcomed Anthony Scaramucci to the White House yesterday following his baptism by Trump in the Potomac. Scaramucci emerged from the water, his hair still perfectly coiffured, proclaiming unconditional love for Trump. With his sinful life behind him, Scaramucci immediately deleted his old tweets and was born again.Trump had cleansed Scarmucci of the evil temptation of strong gun-control, of Hilary as a competent human being, of Islam as a peaceful religion and of Trump as a hack.With his mind now clear of distractions, and his assimilation into Trumpism complete, Scaramucci, Trump’s newest evangelist, headed to the White House to spread the word of his savior.
The moment Anthony Scaramucci presented his business card to President Trump, the deal was a good as done. Sean Spicer was on his way out, with Mr. Smooth installed as White House communications director.Scaramucci checks all the boxes for Trump: Goldman Sachs background, ties to Russia, Wall Street insider, enormous amounts of hair product, prepared to say anything and most importantly, in love with himself and the President. Truly a match made in heaven.