Anthony Scaramucci was escorted from the White House yesterday before returning to his own time, 1987. Sarah Huckabee Sanders made a brief statement from the White House press room, “Anthony has returned to a time where greed was good and generous amounts of hair product were the norm. We wish him well and hope that he makes lots of money”.Scaramucci, having failed epically to become Trump’s BFF, is rumored to have insider stock information on Bluestar Airlines which he intends to present to boyhood hero, Gordon Gekko.
Quentin Tarantino announced this evening that he will be directing the Scaramucci biopic, to be released early in 2018. The biopic, with the working title, “Sewer Dogs”, will focus on Scaramucci’s brief tenure as White House communications director and the infighting with Sean Spicer and Reince Priebus.Speaking to reporters this evening, Tarantino said, “We had some footage left from the final scene of Reservoir Dogs that I’ve wanted to use for years, and today’s decision by John Kelly gave me the perfect opportunity. Anthony’s already signed on and we’re in early negotiations with Sean and Reince”.
President Trump welcomed Anthony Scaramucci to the White House yesterday following his baptism by Trump in the Potomac. Scaramucci emerged from the water, his hair still perfectly coiffured, proclaiming unconditional love for Trump. With his sinful life behind him, Scaramucci immediately deleted his old tweets and was born again.Trump had cleansed Scarmucci of the evil temptation of strong gun-control, of Hilary as a competent human being, of Islam as a peaceful religion and of Trump as a hack.With his mind now clear of distractions, and his assimilation into Trumpism complete, Scaramucci, Trump’s newest evangelist, headed to the White House to spread the word of his savior.
The moment Anthony Scaramucci presented his business card to President Trump, the deal was a good as done. Sean Spicer was on his way out, with Mr. Smooth installed as White House communications director.Scaramucci checks all the boxes for Trump: Goldman Sachs background, ties to Russia, Wall Street insider, enormous amounts of hair product, prepared to say anything and most importantly, in love with himself and the President. Truly a match made in heaven.