Russia

Sessions promotes new biopic

Sessions promotes new biopic
Jeff Sessions will today capitalize on the build-up to tomorrow’s Senate hearing by promoting his new biopic, “Memento”.”It’s something I’ve been working on with Christopher Nolan for a few years now”, Sessions said. “We decided to borrow from Christopher’s original Memento screenplay as there are so many parallels between my story and Guy Pearce’s struggle to find the truth despite his failed memory.”Sessions added that he’s hoping for a fall release. It was unclear if he was referring to the movie or his impending jail term for perjury.
Russia

Melania’s evening gown causes concern following Comey testimony

Melania’s evening gown causes concern following Comey testimony
Melania Trump joined her husband last night for a celebratory dinner, following James Comey’s Senate testimony in which the former FBI director proclaimed, “Lordy, I hope there are tapes.”White House fashion consultant, Sarah Huckabee Sanders gushed, “Melania wanted to show how passionate she is about recycling. She found several boxes in her husband’s Oval Office closet marked ‘Goodwill’ and decided to do something fun with the contents. I’m sure you’ll agree that her designer did an unbelievable job.”This story got a lot of attention. Credit goes to Virginia Fitzgerald for her wonderful creation “Black Widow” which I used as the idea for the story. It is a life size dress sculpture created out of chicken wire and VCR tape. Learn more about the sculpture and check out Virginia’s amazing work at virginiafitzgerald.com.
Russia

White House staff make final preparations for Trump to live-tweet Comey testimony

White House staff make final preparations for Trump to live-tweet Comey testimony
White House staffers have been working tirelessly this week to ensure President Trump’s ability to live-tweet during James Comey’s Senate testimony tomorrow is unimpaired.Explaining his absence from Monday’s press briefing, Sean Spicer said, “Monday’s brainstorming session produced a solution which enables the President to stay hydrated while tweeting, and I think Mike’s prototype does just that. Today’s press briefing will be canceled as Sarah and I build the production version for tomorrow’s hearing.”